time, you’ve got me running

I dont understand where time went. Everything used to be in slow motion. I didn’t realize things were going to start going so damn fast. the last thing I honestly remember was turning eighteen. And that was even going fast. Everything has been such a blur and I didn’t realize it until now. I look different. All the good times I have are flashes. One flash after the last. And it is only getting faster. I need a slow motion button. I feel like I am missing out because I cant seem to stop and watch whats going on. I feel like I am on fast forward and I don’t want to be. I feel eighteen. Why can’t I still be eighteen. I honestly thought I still was until the other day.  I remember counting down the days until I turned eighteen on the clipboard at Price Cutter.  I remember going to hawaii about two months before turning eighteen.  Everything after that is a blue.  A big fucking blur.  The blur is getting blurier due to the increasing speed of time.  I just want to stop and smell the fucking flowers.  Is that too much to ask for?  Stop going so fast.  I’m almost twenty-one?!  That doesn’t make any sense.  I feel like I am a teenager.  I feel like I still belong in highscool.  I graduated two years ago?  no I didn’t I just graduated, I swear. 

I found a ton of pictures today from years and years ago and they made me sad.  Pictures of me and friends and my sister.  I want to do those things I saw in the picture again.  I want to be carefree.  I want to go to a park with my best friend and a camera and not worry about anything.  I want to jump on a trampoline with my sister taking crazy pictures.  Why can’t life be that simple anymore?  Why cant it be that freaking slow anymore?

Time, you’ve got me running.

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~ by rachaeleatworld on February 18, 2007.

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